Humor- A little too close to the truth?

For those who don’t know much about history…… here is a Elsie (condensed) version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note:
Most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical workers, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, soldiers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . The liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history……. It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.

A Conservative will simply laugh and knowing the absolute truth of this history, he will be forward it immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off….

Of note: “Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist.”

Now that was humor… This however was not…

Democrat Billary Rodham Clinton said Tuesday that a mandate requiring every American to purchase health insurance was the only way to achieve universal health care but she rejected the notion of punitive measures to force individuals into the health care system.
Billary was quoted as saying, “”At this point, we don’t have anything punitive that we have proposed,” the presidential candidate said in an interview with The Associated Press. “We’re providing incentives and tax credits which we think will be very attractive to the vast majority of Americans.”

Liberals produce little or nothing, but want US, you and me, to pay for our own health care (and you can bet your bippy, all the ‘disenfrancised’ too)

AT THIS POINT???? WTFO????? This is beginning to scare the hell outta me… Go read ANY of the nurse blogs I’m linked to and they all have a common thread, the freeloaders are taking over the ER’s and everywhere else, demanding their free drugs and basically holding the ER’s hostage. Read below for even MORE chills…

She said she could envision a day when “you have to show proof to your employer that you’re insured as a part of the job interview — like when your kid goes to school and has to show proof of vaccination,” but said such details would be worked out through negotiations with Congress.

ARGGHHHH!!!! Somebody please…please tell me this is all a bad dream and I’m gonna wake up soon… whimper…

Origin of the word Aviator

This explains it all.
As aviators, we come from a long line of a secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. We are warriors, and here is the proof! Ground pounders can read it and weep!

A little known fact is the origin of the word, “Aviator.” In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: “I didn’t know that.”

Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Ken) 1169-? is considered by some to be the most under-recognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phu Khen.

A ‘Khen’ was a subordinate to a ‘Khan’ (pronounced ‘konn’) in the military structure of the Mongol hordes. Khan is Turkish for leader. Most know of the great Genghis Khan, but little has been written of his chain of command.

Khen is also of Turkish origin. Although there is not a word in English that adequately conveys the meaning. Roughly translated, it means, “One who will do the impossible, while appearing unprepared and complaining constantly.

Phu Khen was one of ten Khens that headed the divisions, or groups of hordes, as they were known, of the Mongol Army serving under Genghis Khan. His abilities came to light during the Mongols’ raids on the Turkistan city of Bohicaroo. Bohicans were fierce warriors and the city was well fortified. The entire city was protected by huge walls and the hordes were at a standoff with the Bohicans. Bohicaroo was well-stocked
and it would be difficult to wait them out. Genghis Khan assembled his Khens and ordered each of them to develop a plan for penetrating the defenses of Bohicaroo.

Operation Achieve Victory (AV) was born. All 10 divisions of Khens submitted their plan. After reviewing AV plans 1 thru 7 and finding them all unworkable or ridiculous, Genghis Khan was understandably upset. It was with much perspiration that Phu Khen submitted his idea, which came to be known as AV 8. Upon seeing AV 8, Genghis was convinced this was the perfect plan and gave his immediate approval. The plan was
beautifully simple. Phu Khen would arm his hordes to the teeth, load them into catapults, and hurl them over the wall. The losses were expected to be high, but hey, hordes were cheap! Those that survived the flight would engage the enemy in combat. Those that did not? Well, surely their flailing bodies would cause some damage.

The plan worked and the Bohicans were defeated. From that day on, whenever the Mongol Army encountered an insurmountable enemy, Genghis Khan would give the order, “Send some of Phu Khen’s AV 8-ers.” This is believed, though not by anyone outside our secret society, to be the true origin of the word Aviator (AV 8-er).

Phu Khen’s AV 8-ers were understandably an unruly mob, not likely to be socially acceptable. Many were heavy drinkers and insomniacs. But when nothing else would do, you could always count on an AV 8-er. A Phu Khen Aviator. Denied, perhaps rightfully so, his place in history, Phu Khen has been, nonetheless, immortalized in prose.

As the great poet Norman Lear never once said: “There once was a man named Phu Khen, Whose breakfast was whiskey and gin. When e’er he’d fly, He’d give a mighty war cry: “Bend over, here it comes again.”

Consider it an honor to be a Phu Khen Aviator. Wear the mantle proudly, but speak of it cautiously. It is not always popular to be one of us. You hear mystical references, often hushed whispers, to ‘those Phu Khen Aviators.’ Do not let these things bother you. As with any secret society, we go largely misunderstood, prohibited by our apathy
from explaining ourselves.

You are expected to always live down to the reputation of the Phu Khen Aviator…a reputation cultivated for centuries, undaunted by scorn or ridicule, unhindered by progress. So drink up, be crude, sleep late, urinate in public, and get the job done.

When others are offended, you can revel in the knowledge that YOU are a PHU KHEN AVIATOR.

Author Unknown, but has a round of drinks coming…